The People Who Make Up a Life

Today Seth Fontenot was sentenced in the shooting of Austin Rivault and the shooting assaults on his two companions. He received a sentence of three years and may be out in thirteen months. I am very sad about this sentence as I feel that it cheapens the life of Austin and the lives of other people.

I knew Austin, I took the pictures of him which appear in this blog post. The action by Judge Rubin is another demonstration of how far from any sense of justice this country is as far as I see justice.

Austin Rivault with friends

Austin Rivault with friends

This week is a Faith Camp and I have not yet been out there but I have been thinking about them and praying for them.  I have done less and less over the years but I do care about the outcome of the event and the opportunity it provides for those involved.  Austin had attended Faith Camp. But his long term contribution to the community was cut short.

I posted about the sentence on Facebook today and had not gotten back on the site since that time when I started typing this post. Several of my friends have lost their accounts (most have gotten them back) but it made me realize that I need to get  a few things that are new copied elsewhere just in case. One of them is the contact information for a Mark John I will soon introduce in this post. I am not sure why it is that I have lost contact with each person that I wish I had kept contact with but I am sensitive about this matter.

I had not seen Austin in years when he died (about two years) but I sometimes thought of him. So Austin is one person who makes up the fabric of my life. That continues even as we deal with the aftermath of his death.

I mentioned a name just above that is the happier side of the week for me. I will return to that and I also have been corresponding with an old friend who is in Argentina and his absence is on my mind too. His initials are LPB and h e had one comment on this blog but I had not even noticed he was following my Facebook profile all these years. He invited me to visit him but I doubt I will. That perhaps makes the invitation easier. Although it is somewhat good that we can regularly correspond now I wonder if LPB and I could have helped each other make life and legacy better over time if we had been together more often. That brings me back to Mark John whom I mentioned before and who I have not seen since he was a baby. I just restored contact with him and that was a good thing. But the Facebook outage made me realize I need to get his email address and give him mine.

I also have had a happy reunion with my godchild and only godson Mark John Braña although we were only connected on Facebook and only for a few days and it is possible that that single contact is now threatened before we could exchange other contact information. But I do post his photograph with his family here. below the pictures of Austin.

Austin at a Faith Camp Reunion

Austin at a Faith Camp Reunion

I get the blues fairly often and fairly deeply. That’s been true most, if not all of my life. I have good reasons to be sad, moody or despondent. Usually I think that the state of mind I am describing is one which is a reasonable and relatively healthy response to the conditions in my life. I also worry and not everything I worry about  turns out to be a real problem — thank God for that. I would be sad if I lost contact with my godson although there is not much if anything that I can do for him. However it would make me sad  if that happened and right now I have a worried sadness that his might happen. The three males I discuss in this blog are not the only people I miss. I miss women whom I miss differently — not just the  love interests but even female friends and relatives.  I sent Mark John a picture of my own godmother whom I do not see all that often. I recently had a nice reunion with her as well. But there was melancholy in that as well. Such as the fact that her sons and I were once friendly.

My recent reunion with my godmother Cousin Mickey or Aunt Mickey depending on my mood.

My recent reunion with my godmother Cousin Mickey or Aunt Mickey depending on my mood.

There are different types of sadness and my own blues are often a sort of medley of sadness. I’m sure some of my readers can relate to that kind of sadness. I am sad that my relationships of various kinds are not all they could or should be. Austin died a long time ago and we were not very close but I am sad about his being ripped away from us all.

This is a blog post which will look at a few recent events in the my life and ask the simple if not easy questions about them.  Maybe it will attempt to answer some of those questions too. I was a good friend of Mark John’s family but initially I refused to be his godfather because I was afraid we might fall out of touch and we did do that.  I tried hard although not endlessly to overcome that separation and for a day or so at least I did. However, that too may be temporary.

My godson Mark John Braña with his wife and children in the Philippines

My godson Mark John Braña with his wife and children in the Philippines

I am reasonably tired today and there is not much chance that I will feel full of pep and energy. I simply feel the need to  do what can be done to deal with a variety of demands on my limited time and resources and I have little capacity to do more than I am currently doing. In fact I find that much of what I am trying to do or doing is not all that sustainable. But I stay fairly busy. While I am busy I still think of people who have mattered to me and still do matter.

I am not sure what other people that I miss or worth mentioning today. But I do know that I have  valued many people and that my future is not likely to be crowded with them. It does not matter to me so much why the people who make up my memories are not around. It matters more  to me to try and be true to the memories and contacts I had with them.

I hope that another day will bring a better and happier view of the future. But that is not this day, not so far anyway.

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